let’s try this one. Haha. #drunk blogging
I’m a bit drunk or maybe tipsy, I don’t know but I can feel my ears and my face burning. I’m trying to think straight but my mind races in such a way that I wanted to type as fast as I can but my fingers are just too slow. Or maybe I feel everything is in slow motion. Okay, enough metaphors or what nots.
This has been the day everybody seems to be waiting, for me to finally delete him as a friend in facebook. Well, I didn’t delete him per se, my friend did it for me (Thanks Tep.) while I was at work, just so I wouldn’t anticipate it as much as I wanted to. It helped that we were really toxic today (Read: TAHBSO with a little AP in the process of doing one, 3 CS, a cholecystectomy, a hemorrhoidectomy, oooh, I forgot the rest. Hahaha.)
What made me decide? I don’t know. It’s probably one of those random days in my life when I woke up and an idea came in “Unfriend him in facebook.” Yeah, it’s what he wants, so why not give it to him. Right?
So why did I drink myself into oblivion? (again, sorry for the metaphor, I don’t know where all this came from. Hahaha.) Because it’s a fun thing to do, because I hardly drink at 4 in the afternoon and then come home at 7pm and act sane and sober in front of my parents, because I feel I needed to drink, because I know deep inside I am hurt for doing all this but I needed to do it, for my sake, and alcohol somehow numbs all this.
Yes, I’m doing it for my sake and not for anyone else’s. I have to stop this complicated situation where I set myself into more than 6 months back — which have been fun but the hurt that comes after is just too much.
Yes, you’ve hurt me so much. Of course, you’ll deny all this, after all I was a very willing victim. But anyway, I am glad you did this to me, all of it. It was a learning experience.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same person I once was. I think this is bound to happen, after all “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” This didn’t kill me, so I’ll be definitely fine.
I’m not angry at you. I actually don’t feel any emotion towards you, maybe it’s the alcohol kicking in, but I hope it’s a permanent thing — the apathy towards you.
I don’t know how to end this post, so I’ll leave it here. HAHA.
